weary...

much to say, too little energy...

i spent the last week in north carolina (ridgecrest) at camp with our high school students... it was incredible, not only because i was terrified of how the week might go and it turning out way better than i could have anticipated. i don't think i've ever loved students the way i love the students at clearview. they bring joy to my heart every time i see them. it's not just a handful of students. i seriously came home and was sad that i had to leave them. i hadn't planned on going to church tomorrow because i know exhaustion is about to get the best of me... and yet, when matt reminded the students about church in the morning and worship tomorrow night, i found myself wanting to go so that i could hang out with them again.

we had some issues at camp. it wasn't the easiest of weeks. there are many kids who were on the trip that were very hardened. i refuse to go into details, but i was really nervous about it... as we (the adults) got on our faces interceding for the students, it became apparent to me that they had won a special place in my heart and something big was about to happen. i am looking forward to seeing the ways that God is going to work in the lives of students in the next several months.

on the flip side of that, i caught a glimpse of my own spiritual immaturity and how easy it is for my flesh to take over. while at camp, something happened and i lost my temper. it wasn't an issue with the students and i didn't directly approach the situation, but knew i didn't handle it in the correct manner. immediately after realizing what i had done (or hadn't done), i felt very inadequate to be leading students at all. i'm so thankful for grace and God working through my inadequacies.

we got home this evening and i've been trying to play catch up with emails and phone calls. a lot has happened in the last week and i'm really just ready to curl up in my bed and sleep my life away... but that's not really a complete possibility...

pray for continued strength and energy for me. i have to leave my house at about 5:00 a.m. on monday morning for middle school camp... there's a lot going on and i know i need to be all there for the students. i know it will be great and i know i will be completely exhausted this time next week. how did i work fuge staff for entire summers?

i am so tired... i must go... i will try to have stories sometime soon... hopefully i'll be able to remember them.